Friday, October 18, 2013

Insecurities creeping in

I haven't written in a while. Things are kind of at a stand still for a little bit. I have sent out requests for sponsorship and now just need to play the waiting game. I meet next Thursday with Olmstead Center for Sight. I am hoping that meeting goes well.

Today was not one of my best days. My insecurities came creeping in, more like charging in. I sent a panicked text to a good friend. "I don't know what makes me think I can do this. What makes me think I can mak a difference...I am so much not capable to do all it takes to achieve this" Being at a point of just waiting for things to happen helped contribute to my melt down I am sure. He did text me back an amazing and totally encouraging text. It is so great to have friends who let you panic and then know what to say to bring you back to having confidence on the One who will walk through this all with me. I am right, I dont have what it takes to achieve this on my own, but the great thing is I don't have to! God will bring me through this. He will strengthen me. He will make it all happen. I know there are things I need to do, and I have been doing them (contacting sponsors, getting the word out, getting my body in shape).

Please keep me in prayer. I am sure there are going to be many, many more melt downs before I start and while I am walking, but God has this as imperfect as I am. God likes to use imperfect people and even the great people of the bible had doubt and imperfections. (thank you Alex for the remimder). Hopefully I will continue to remember how unable I am to do this on my own and recognise where my strength truly comes from. Because if I stop relying on God and try to do this in my own strenght it will never happen.

I can do all this through Him that gives me strenght Philipians 4:13

No comments:

Post a Comment